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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26357668">alphabetical disorder</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/excorde/pseuds/excorde'>excorde</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>TREASURE (Korea Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - College/University, Confessions, Drinking, Feelings Realization, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Light Angst, M/M, Non-Linear Narrative, Pining, different POVs, happy bday kim junkyu lol, this goes from canon divergence to headcanon there's no in between</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 05:35:44</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>13,223</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26357668</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/excorde/pseuds/excorde</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Whenever they come too close for comfort, Junkyu would sometimes trace Jihoon’s moles with his forefinger. Other times, he would give each one a little poke, and Jihoon can not decide which annoys him more. <br/><br/>Or: In the midst of sorting through his feelings, little does Jihoon know, that his friends have figured it out long before he did.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kim Junkyu/Park Jihoon</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>46</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>211</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>this is basically just,,, 5k headcanon of my ultimate trsr ship @_@</p><p>i hope the emojis are viewable for everyone (they kinda indicate whose pov it is,,, but it's not like it's hard to tell lol)</p><p>title is from my inability to write chronologically</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>🐷</p><p>Hyunsuk likes to believe that he’s the smartest out of all of them. Not because he’s <em> older </em>- well that, too - but because he’s the first (and the only one so far) who has cracked Jihoon’s wifi password. </p><p>Jihoon lays out three reasons why he has been denying them access:</p><p>First - they're barely in his place. Despite it being the closest apartment to the campus, Jihoon knows exactly how to utilize the limited area of his temporary home. Boxes, books, indoor plants, and the like are <em> everywhere, </em>making the entire place cramped and thus, rendering it unqualified to accommodate guests. </p><p>Second - Jihoon is hell-bent on spending quality time with his friends. Which is to say, on the rare moments when they're in his place, he would rather not see them too much on their phones. </p><p>Third - there’s a café across the street and the entire group has access to it. (So that basically settles everything, right?) </p><p>It becomes a sort of game for them. Every time they visit Jihoon’s, they guess the password until their attempts run out. </p><p>Hyunsuk has put in everything related to Jihoon - his name, his birthdate, his favorite anime, favorite movie, color, etc. but nothing worked. </p><p>He doesn't stop there though - one day, after winning a game of rock-paper-scissors which sends the rest of his friends to do chores for him, Hyunsuk is left on his own, guessing the password once again because he has nothing else to do. </p><p>That's when he's bestowed upon an idea to put all their names in. It ends up being too long, so he types in his friends' names one by one, starting with his, of course. It sort of makes sense if the password is related to other people and not Jihoon himself, because the man has always been the type to put other people before him.</p><p>Over the months of guessing, they have realized that the password required <em> numbers </em> and all Hyunsuk can think of for this are birthdates. So he types the names along with the person's corresponding birthdates.</p><p><em> choihyunsuk0421 </em> is not it. </p><p><em> bangyedam0507 </em> is not it. </p><p><em> kimjunkyu0909 </em> is not it. </p><p><em> kimdoyoung1204 </em> is not it either.</p><p>Frustrated, Hyunsuk puts his phone face down on the dining table (it’s where they all sit when they come over; Jihoon does not even have a freaking couch) and looks towards Jihoon’s direction for inspiration. </p><p>Yedam and Doyoung are out to buy ice cream, while Jihoon is by the sink, doing the dishes with Junkyu. Their backs are to him but this doesn’t hinder their voices from resonating in the entire apartment. </p><p>“Stop splashing the water! I’m getting soaked.” Junkyu. </p><p>“Where did you put the drying towel?” Jihoon. </p><p>“I gave it to you.” Junkyu.</p><p>“It’s not here.” Jihoon. </p><p>“I gave it to you!” Junkyu. </p><p>There is a short pause in which the only sound coming from the pair is the clanging of glassware and the gush of the faucet. </p><p>“My kyu, where is the towel?” </p><p><em> My kyu </em>. </p><p>Jihoon and Junkyu do a lot of crazy things together that an endearing nickname barely baffles Hyunsuk. Unlike Yedam and Doyoung who seem to mildly react whenever Jihoon calls out Junkyu with the nickname, the older only shrugs it off. </p><p>This is where he gets an idea. </p><p>He picks up his phone again and types in: <em> mykyu0909 </em></p><p>“Oh shit.” </p><p>He got in. </p><p>Hyunsuk gawks at his phone, then looks up at the pair by the sink, who are still in their little world, completely oblivious of his <em> eureka </em>moment. </p><p>Jihoon's password is <em> mykyu0909 </em>! </p><p>“Jihoon!” He shouts urgently, making his friends jump a little and turn to him in concern. Hyunsuk holds his phone up with a beam on his face, directing it more to Jihoon, Junkyu looking over his shoulder. </p><p>Jihoon squints at it. “Um, yeah. Cool football home screen, hyung.” </p><p>Hyunsuk is way too excited; he laughs. “Not that. This!” And he points towards the top bar of his phone. </p><p>"Woah." Jihoon begins in a faux amazed tone, "You really need to charge your phone." </p><p>Hyunsuk giggles amusedly, earning concerned looks from the pair, then points at the screen again - this time, directing it towards the wifi symbol. </p><p>Jihoon raises an eyebrow. "Congratulations, hyung, you learned what a wifi signal is!" </p><p>Hyunsuk nods proudly, unfazed by the sarcastic tone. "Uh-huh. And it's not just any wifi, Ji." </p><p>"What do you mean-?" </p><p>Jihoon’s expression morphs from confused to realization to utter shock while Hyunsuk lets out a triumphant laugh. </p><p>He gets cut off however when he feels a damp hold around his arm, dragging him hurriedly out of the kitchen. He hears Junkyu yell behind them, "<em> I'll be right here! </em>" </p><p>Jihoon finally lets him go when they reach the center of the living room. He removes one glove then runs his hand over his face. Hyunsuk can tell that he's exerting effort to keep his face neutral, noticing a tinge of panic in his eyes. When he speaks, his voice is in a whisper, “How did you figure it out?” </p><p>The older shrugs, “I just guessed.” </p><p>Jihoon nods, as if that made sense. </p><p>Hyunsuk asks, “Care to tell me what it means?” </p><p>“What?” </p><p>“Your password, of course. What else are we talking about here?" </p><p>Jihoon seems to blanch for a second but he composes himself quickly, saying, "Nothing. The wifi needed a password and I just typed in whatever was right off the top of my head." </p><p>"Which was Junkyu?" </p><p>There’s a pause. Jihoon looks at Hyunsuk, Hyunsuk stares back, waiting. </p><p>“Yeah.” </p><p>Hyunsuk nods, as if that made sense. </p><p>He shrugs, “Okay.” </p><p>When he heads back to the kitchen, he thinks he hears Jihoon exhale in relief but he couldn’t exactly be sure with Junkyu shouting, “JIHOON-AH, I FOUND THE TOWEL!” </p><p> </p><p>🐼</p><p>If his memory serves him right, this particular moment happened in Yedam and Doyoung's shared apartment. </p><p>"Can I lie on your lap?" </p><p>"No." </p><p>Jihoon thinks of a time when Junkyu actually listened to him. He's not the least bit surprised when he can't recall a single moment. </p><p>Junkyu lays on his lap anyway, snuggling, tossing, turning until he's comfortable, and Jihoon, slightly flabbergasted and annoyed at being made as a pillow, pinches the other's cheeks. </p><p>Junkyu only laughs at this. He mostly just laughs at everything. Even if some of Jihoon's jokes could get a bit over the top sometimes, Junkyu just laughs. This must be why Jihoon feels more drawn to him than anyone else - not just because they're the same age - but because when he's around him, Jihoon feels lighter, better. </p><p>Junkyu rolls from his side, away from the tv, to look up at Jihoon. He has his hands clasped on his torso when he says, “So, <em> theoretically, </em>if I ask you to be my boyfriend, would you say yes?”</p><p>It starts with this. This question. This stupid idea. The way the light flickered at the same moment and Jihoon mentally curses their younger friends for lying about already having it fixed. </p><p>Jihoon pretends to think, jutting his lower lip in gesture. "Hmmm. <em> Tempting- </em>" (Junkyu chuckles.) "-But you would have to fake-ask me out properly. I'm not an easy man, Kyu." </p><p>Junkyu gets on his feet so fast. Next thing he knows, he's already kneeling in front of Jihoon, <em> on both knees </em>, looking like he's begging for forgiveness rather than holding out a proposal. </p><p>"Park Jihoon, will you be my fake boyfriend?" </p><p>"That's not how you do it!" </p><p>Junkyu stands up, groaning, brushing the dust off his knees. "I try my best!" </p><p>"I'll show you how it's done. Sit down." </p><p>They switch positions, Jihoon shoving him down on the couch before bending down on one knee, holding his palms out to mimic a ring box. </p><p>“Kim Junkyu,” He begins, holding his laughter as Junkyu exaggerates his shock, “Will you be my boyfriend?” </p><p>Before the other can reply, another voice cuts in their moment. </p><p>“What the hell is going on?” </p><p>Yedam is standing by the doorway, looking from one to the other, confused and - Jihoon would say shocked, but he looks more - <em> scared </em>. </p><p>“We were roleplaying!” Jihoon reasons quickly. </p><p>“Ew, hyung, <em> no </em>!” </p><p>Junkyu leans back, laughing as Jihoon quickly gets on his feet to smack the younger at the back of his head. </p><p>After Jihoon has kicked Yedam out of the room - <em> literally kicked </em>, he gave him a little kick on the butt - he returns to his spot on the couch, and Junkyu lets his head fall on his lap as if gravitated towards it. </p><p>“So, <em> theoretically </em>, what would you call me if we’re boyfriends?” </p><p>"What?" </p><p>"You know. Like a call sign or something." </p><p>Jihoon winces, but the other doesn't see; he’s staring up at the ceiling. "Is that necessary?" </p><p>"Of course." </p><p>"Well, then. I might not want anything conventional." </p><p>"What do you want then?" </p><p>Jihoon already has something in mind but he pauses for a while to give the idea that he's pondering about it. </p><p>"...<em> My kyu </em>?" </p><p>Junkyu laughs. "Oh, because <em> that's </em> original." </p><p>"It <em> is </em> original. It has your name on it. How many <em> kyus </em>do you think are there in South Korea? In the world?" </p><p>“16 maybe.” </p><p>They both laugh, Jihoon ruffling his hair. He can’t decide whether he finds him cute or annoying. </p><p>“Why are you suddenly being weird, asking me out to fake date you?” </p><p>Junkyu shrugs. “Just practicing.” </p><p>“<em> Practicing </em>?” </p><p>“Well, I haven’t done this before have I?" What Junkyu means to say is that he has never done this relationship thing. Ever. "I just want to know what it feels like, even for only three minutes. I think it's just the romance movies I've been watching lately, rubbing off on me.” </p><p>Jihoon traces the bridge of his nose with his finger, heading downwards, and Junkyu attempts to bite him off when he reaches his lips but Jihoon always has faster reflexes than him.</p><p>“You should date. <em> The real thing </em>."</p><p>“You think I’m not trying?” </p><p>“All you do is sleep and play games, so no. I don’t think you’re actually trying.” </p><p>Junkyu whines. “Jihoon, that was a rhetorical question!” </p><p>“Whatever." Jihoon absentmindedly plays with his hair. Also sort of absentmindedly, he adds, "<em>My Kyu </em>.”</p><p>Junkyu whines louder, kicking his feet childishly. “Don't call me that - I hate it!” </p><p>The constant use of the nickname is initially meant to torment Junkyu. Then they both got used to it over time - Junkyu doesn't complain anymore and the way the name leaves Jihoon's mouth is as if he has been calling Junkyu <em> his </em>since the beginning of time. </p><p> </p><p>🐰</p><p>Doyoung is not an idiot, but he knows one who certainly is.</p><p><em> Two </em>, actually. </p><p>Let's start with this: </p><p>Hyunsuk has a girlfriend. They've been going out for almost a year now and the guy still acts as though he just met her yesterday - that's how much in love he is with her. It's not just the usual in love. But <em> in </em> love, like <em> in love </em>. </p><p>Doyoung's acts of disgust towards the older's giddy episodes are merely a joke, he's actually pretty happy for him. Yedam is too, if the way he smiles towards Hyunsuk endearingly is any indication. </p><p>Jihoon would sometimes cry out a funny remark or laugh at Hyunsuk's reactions at Doyoung's exaggerations. Other times, he's just quiet. </p><p>Then there's Junkyu. If Doyoung's faking his negative reactions, this guy almost looks like he means them. </p><p>(Because he <em> does, </em>you bet fucking right he does.) </p><p>Perhaps Hyunsuk has read through him because after a phone call from his girlfriend to which Doyoung cried out a - 'People are single here!' and Junkyu fake-gags, he holds Junkyu by the ear and drags him towards the couch. </p><p>“Aw, hyung! I’m sorry. It's not my fault I'm disgusted by your blatant display of affection- ouch! Hyung! I’m joking!” </p><p>Hyunsuk props on the space between him and Doyoung on the couch, forcing the younger to scoot over and squeeze in with Yedam. The furniture could only hold so much people and Yedam is the one who makes way, dropping on the floor with Jihoon. </p><p>"Sorry, Yedam-ah." Hyunsuk says, and the younger makes a gesture as if to brush him off. "It's all right, hyung." </p><p>Apparently, Hyunsuk is still not done with Junkyu. He turns to the boy in question and says, "You should totally go out with someone." </p><p>At this, Jihoon finally shows his first signs of life as he looks up from his phone, sending the other two an apprehensive glance. </p><p>Doyoung notices this - he always does - and sends Yedam a knowing look. Yedam puts a finger to his lips, smiling a little.</p><p>Junyku pouts his signature pout, the one which sees the light of day whenever he feels the need to be sulky (which is 80% of the time). </p><p>"I can't be arsed." </p><p>"It could help the both of us. I'm tired of your bitter ass." </p><p>"Hey!" And as if realizing his informal outburst, adds, "-<em> hyungnim. </em>" Doyoung and Yedam burst laughing; Junkyu ignores them. </p><p>"Doyoung is bitter too! And he has not been in a relationship as well. As far as I know." He adds. </p><p>"Well, that's different because Doyoung is a <em> babyyyyyy </em> ." Hyunsuk takes this moment to headlock the other boy and ruffle his hair. " <em> He's my baby </em>." </p><p>Doyoung doesn't even try to free himself from his grasp. </p><p>Yedam butts into the conversation, "Junkyu hyung, didn't you get asked out by that… <em> foreign guy </em>?" </p><p>Hyunsuk perks up. "Oh, yeah! What happened to him? Did you turn him down?" </p><p>Junkyu's smile seems to have frozen on his face. He looks at every one of them before saying, "Yeah, I turned him down." </p><p>"Ooh! Look at this guy's <em> nerves </em>!" </p><p>"How <em> dare </em> you turn him down!"</p><p>Junkyu whines exaggeratedly as the rest proceeds with their teasings. This is a normal thing for the group of friends. What isn't usual is Jihoon not joining in on teasing Junkyu. </p><p>Doyoung notices that he has said nothing during the entire exchange but has been shifting his gaze from Hyunsuk to Junkyu and then back (sometimes at Yedam too when he inputs something), but mostly to Junkyu. </p><p>Doyoung notices this - he always does - and he keeps sending Yedam knowing glances. </p><p>And Yedam would send them back, only he's signaling the younger to hush down. </p><p>He can't exactly recall how this mutual understanding of their hyungs' feelings had started to make sense between them, but his earliest memory provides a moment of him and Yedam talking to each other in hushed voices, heads pressed together. </p><p>Yedam was telling him what he noticed at the basketball court and Doyoung, in turn, told him about the night he got stranded with the two idiots in the middle of nowhere. </p><p>Doyoung had blamed the event on a number of unfortunate things: </p>
<ol>
<li>the century-old honda civic</li>
<li>junkyu's totally random suggestion to have a drive at 11 pm </li>
<li>jihoon's utter incapability to refuse every little thing junkyu suggests</li>
<li>jihoon</li>
<li>junkyu</li>
</ol><p>They took a stop at a convenience store because Doyoung just had a large drink of bubble tea and felt the need to unload. When he walks back to the aisles, he finds his friends fighting over which candy to buy - <em> Skittles </em> or <em> M&amp;Ms </em>. </p><p>Doyoung yells over their voices, "It's not like you can't afford both!" </p><p>It took a second for the words to sink in - Junkyu nods his head in <em> slow </em>understanding, turning his head towards Jihoon. As soon as their eyes meet, they burst out laughing.  </p><p>Doyoung sighs.</p><p>That was only the start of his frustrations unfortunately because the car wouldn't start anymore when they got back. </p><p>"Do you think it's the spark plug…?" Junkyu looks up as he feels two pairs of eyes on him. "... Or something?" </p><p>"What do you know about spark plugs?" </p><p>"Nothing. I just heard it on tv." </p><p>Neither of them knows shit about cars or engines or has any sort of knowledge that could kick start the vehicle to run again, but they <em> do </em> remember Hyunsuk - Hyunsuk who has a car of his own and is more than willing to pick them up regardless of the ungodly hour. </p><p>The only problem is, when they try to call Hyunsuk, he's not picking up. </p><p>"Try Yedam." </p><p>Jihoon drops the phone a minute later, shaking his head. </p><p>"Do they sleep this early?" </p><p>"I know Yedam does. He's an early riser so he hits the sack early too." </p><p>"And Hyunsuk? Doesn't he stay up till 3 am or something?" </p><p>Junkyu gasps loudly all of a sudden. He's wearing his 'I-just-got-an-idea' face. Jihoon turns to him, asking, "What? What is it?" </p><p>Junkyu points at Doyoung. "<em> You </em> call Hyunsuk! That must be why hyung wasn't picking up because it was Jihoon calling him." </p><p>Doyoung can't help laughing, fishing his phone out of his pocket. </p><p>Jihoon pouts. "I'm a little hurt but he has a point." </p><p>And the point is proven when Hyunsuk answers on the second ring. </p><p>Doyoung fills him in on the situation in less than a minute. As soon as he relays their location, the older says he'll be there in 30 mins more or less (bless him) and they're just about to hang up when Hyunsuk screams into the phone. </p><p>"Oh my god, hyung! Are you okay? What is it?" </p><p>Jihoon and Junkyu look on with concern. </p><p>"I'm fine, I'm fine! It's just - <em> shit </em>. I just remembered I left the car at home this weekend." </p><p>"<em> Home </em>? Home as in-" </p><p>"<em> Gyeonggi </em>."</p><p>Doyoung drops his jaw in shock. </p><p>Hyunsuk speaks loudly on the receiver, "Wait! I think I know someone who can help, but we might take a little while since he lives on the outskirts. Would that be okay?" </p><p>Doyoung sighs in relief. "Yes, hyung. That's absolutely okay. I'm sorry we got you in this situation." </p><p>"Nahh. With friends as idiots, I'm kinda used to it." </p><p>"Right. Of course."  </p><p>"Well," Doyoung begins as he finally ends the call, "Hyunsuk hyung said he'll pick us up but he might take an hour or so. I'm taking a nap on the backseat, please only wake me up when it's time to go."  </p><p>Doyoung has no idea how long he has been napping when he wakes up later. The front seats are empty and the windows are rolled down to let the chilly night air in. He shivers a little as he sits up, only noticing Junkyu's windbreaker wrapped around him as it falls to his lap. </p><p>The convenience store is bright with all the light from the interior passing through the glass walls. It takes him a few seconds to process the muffled voices and light chuckles coming from the back of the car. He looks through the rear glass and sees two figures seated on the trunk. </p><p>Anyone would be able to recognize Junkyu's laughter anywhere. It's then followed by a frustrated shushing which Doyoung oddly associates with Jihoon. </p><p>“<em>Shut up, you’ll wake Doyoung </em>.” </p><p>When Junkyu speaks, his tone rises in uneven pitches, a failing attempt to keep his voice down. “That wasn’t me who pulled the prank on Mr. Yang. <em> It was you </em>.” </p><p>Jihoon is laughing now too, from the memory, or from Junkyu's tone, it's hard to tell. “No, that was <em> you </em>, Kyu. I remember it like it was yesterday.” </p><p>Doyoung then only notices their hands leaning on the surface of the trunk, probably to support their weight.</p><p>Their fingers are barely touching. Just staring at the little gap between them makes Doyoung want to scream.</p><p>Jihoon says something again in a relatively low voice, who unlike Junkyu, has incredible control of his tone. Junkyu guffaws.</p><p>See, most of the time, the things Jihoon says aren’t even funny, but you tell this to Junkyu and he would most probably bring out a list full of the other's comical moments, defending with his whole chest as if he owed it to him. </p><p>Doyoung leans closer, peering upwards at the glass so he can take a better look at their faces. He can't properly see Junkyu from that angle but he does see Jihoon looking at him as if Junkyu hung the stars in the sky. </p><p>It's like a scene from a movie, only Doyoung didn't ask to watch this one. </p><p>Rolling his eyes, Doyoung lays back down on the seat. </p><p>“Idiots.” </p><p> </p><p>🐼</p><p>Junkyu has a special way of saying goodbye. </p><p>The first time it happens, Jihoon chokes on his iced tea. </p><p>“Bye Jihoonie~!” They're at the quad - Jihoon's heading out of the campus, while Junkyu's heading the opposite direction, towards his next class. Jihoon lazily waves back; he couldn't be bothered to utter words since his mouth is sipping on his plastic straw. (He and Junkyu fight about this sometimes. The plastic straw, I mean, but that's for another story.) </p><p>Junkyu is walking backward now, and it's only a matter of time before he bumps into someone. Anticipating this, Jihoon stops on his tracks. </p><p>"I love you!” Junkyu shouts, his voice resonating at the open area, garnering looks from students nearby. He laughs when Jihoon ungracefully spits his iced tea. </p><p>Junkyu adds, “You know, in case I die?” </p><p>He <em> always </em>follows his statement with that. </p><p>And every time, Jihoon notices a glint in his eyes and he always reads it as mischief. </p><p> </p><p>🦊</p><p>Somewhere along the three-point line, Yedam makes his shot, his eyes not leaving the ball as it spins in the air, touches the rim of the hoop, and finally falling through it. </p><p>Doyoung lets out a whoop, taunting Jihoon with what looks to be a mocking dance. Yedam turns away before he could see what Jihoon has done to him to let out a painful yelp, returning Hyunsuk's high-five.</p><p>“Time out!” Junkyu shouts through their chatter, raising a ‘T’ gesture formed by his hands. Without waiting for a response, he walks out of the court with slouched shoulders. Yedam can tell from the way his back rises and falls rapidly that he's heaving. </p><p>“Oh, come on, Kyu, we just started!” Jihoon berates, a hint of annoyance in his voice, but the look on his face completely contradicts his tone. He follows Junkyu with his eyes, watching as the other slumped down on the untrimmed grass right outside the court's boundaries. </p><p>Hyunsuk and Doyoung start a one-on-one match with each other and Yedam turns from them to Junkyu and then to Jihoon, who still hasn't moved from his spot, still staring at Junkyu. </p><p>The sun is setting over the horizon and it casts this inclined hue on the court, illuminating only half of their bodies when they stand somewhere near the west side of the court. Jihoon soaks up the golden hues as he stays rooted exactly where they fall, his eyes reflecting bronze and rust. </p><p>He appears to be hesitating. </p><p>When Yedam turns to Junkyu, where he's under the protection of the block of shade around him, he realizes that he's staring right at him too. (At Jihoon, not Yedam.) </p><p>“Jihoon, think fast!” </p><p>Anyone would be in no state to think fast if they are zoning out like that. Jihoon did not even appear to hear Hyunsuk yelling out to him. He only snaps out of it when the ball hits his back, leaving traces of dust on his white shirt. </p><p>Doyoung sprints to retrieve the ball, and everyone is looking at him as he goes in for a shot. He misses and Hyunsuk rebounds. Yedam gets half a second to catch the ball as the older tosses it to him. </p><p>Yedam jumps back on the game as soon as his fingers graze over the ball, dribbling effortlessly as he zooms past Hyunsuk, then Doyoung. When he reaches the ring, he executes an easy layup.</p><p>“GOD YEDAM!" </p><p>"Shut up." Yedam chuckles, throwing the ball to Doyoung's face. He catches it easily. </p><p>When Yedam turns to check on Jihoon again, he's not in the court anymore. </p><p>He has joined Junkyu by the shade and the latter is patting the dust on his shirt away for him. </p><p>Yedam feels the corners of his mouth tug into a smile as he diverts his gaze away. Something about the moment exudes intimacy, like it demanded privacy. He knows neither of them would ever admit to it, or would care about what anyone thought about it - about them - but Yedam still looks away. Just in case. </p><p>The next five minutes are a blur of sprints, hollers, laughter, and the sound of a bouncing basketball on the cement ground.</p><p>"Time!" Yedam shouts, making his way towards the other two, who has been cheering on them from the sidelines the whole time. (Junkyu does more of the cheering. Jihoon yells jests and laughter whenever one trips on their feet.)  </p><p>Yedam props himself on the huge space between them. He didn't notice it before but it seems odd now that he's aware of it. Just as he hits the ground, Junkyu gets on his feet, running towards the others, leaving Yedam with Jihoon. </p><p>The sunset glow is nearly gone now, only illuminating the upper half of the backboard and the western corner of the court. </p><p>“Yedam-ah.” Jihoon suddenly says, breaking the silence. </p><p>“Yes, hyung?” </p><p>“I have a question.” His tone has a tinge of seriousness which Yedam finds a bit unsettling because Jihoon rarely gets serious with him. </p><p>He’s quiet for a second. Out of curiosity, Yedam follows his gaze as his eyes flit from one point to another. </p><p>The rest of their friends are all moving too quickly for him to be certain in his focal point, but Yedam has a hunch. </p><p>Jihoon finally says, “Have you noticed something different in Junkyu lately?” </p><p>“Like what?” </p><p>“That’s the thing. I can’t put a finger on it.” </p><p><em> Is that why you’ve been staring too much lately? </em>Yedam wants to ask, but he decides to keep his observations to himself. </p><p>He looks towards Junkyu instead, to try to pick out this <em> difference </em>that Jihoon has been going on about. </p><p>Yedam sees the same boy - the same friend - he has known over the last five years. Surely he would notice something right away if there’s something off with Junkyu, right? </p><p>"Oh, wait!" Yedam blurts out upon realization, Jihoon perking up excitedly at his reaction. He points out that Junkyu has been wearing his bangs over his forehead lately, something about him being too lazy to put a gel on. The more Yedam explains his point, the deeper Jihoon's frown gets; he shakes his head. </p><p>“No, no. It’s not that.” </p><p>Yedam shrugs. “Maybe he grew another inch taller?” </p><p>“God, I hope not.” </p><p>A soft chuckle leaves Yedam's mouth, his eyes glancing back to the others. Doyoung is speeding with the ball (<em> again </em>; he tends to exaggerate his movements) hair bouncing at every step. He stops right where the sunset glow can hit his face, then he takes his shot. He misses again and despite this, Doyoung chuckles along with Hyunsuk and Junkyu, his eyes sparkling under the golden light. Without taking his gaze off of the younger boy, he says to Jihoon, “Hyung, maybe it’s the sunlight.” </p><p>The response is quick, “No, I don't think so. It’s not just today. This has been bothering me for a while now.” </p><p>Yedam turns his head to look at him, only to see him fixated towards the court - <em> or at a certain someone at the court </em>. </p><p>The lines in between his eyebrows are gone now. If he has shown frustration trying to figure out what is wrong with Junkyu just a few seconds ago, now he's just blatantly allowing himself to enjoy his view. Yedam never thought of it to be real when authors describe the glaze in someone's eyes as they stare towards the person they adore. Yet, here it is, answering all of their questions for them. </p><p>“Hyung.” Yedam says. It’s his turn to sound serious now. </p><p>“What.” He replies almost absentmindedly, eyes still fixed to where it has been overdue. </p><p>"Have you ever thought that maybe, Junkyu isn't the one who's different?" </p><p>"What do you mean?" </p><p>"Maybe it's you, hyung.” Jihoon finally looks at him, the creases inching back on his face. Feeling a surge of excitement, Yedam smiles at him, “Maybe you're the one who's different." </p><p> </p><p>🐼</p><p>Whenever they come too close for comfort, Junkyu would sometimes trace Jihoon’s moles with his forefinger. Other times, he would give each one a little poke, and Jihoon can not decide which annoys him more. </p><p>Such is the case in this cramped subway car. Jihoon is leaning beside the car doors and whenever the vehicle stops or regains momentum, Junkyu slightly falls into him, their chests pressing together. At the stop before theirs, Junkyu doesn't move away. He only tilts his head so that he can take a better look at Jihoon's face and that's when he starts grazing his fingers along the other's skin.</p><p>“Will you <em> cut it out </em>?” Jihoon whispers, meaning to inch away from him but he's already cramped against the car's wall. </p><p>This only seems to motivate Junkyu in taunting him more. </p><p>He applies more pressure on his pokes then whisper-sings the song which Jihoon has learned to hate because of Jaehyuk’s (a friend they met through Hyunsuk) abusive use of it in the tiniest of circumstances, “<em> Gaemi-neun… oneuldo… </em>”</p><p>Jihoon shoots him a look of disbelief before they both start in fits of giggles, earning stares from the other passengers.</p><p> </p><p>🐨</p><p>"Jihoon?" </p><p>There's something about the way Jihoon looks at him sometimes. </p><p>"Yeah?"</p><p>The little spaces in between them. The pauses. The eye-smiles. The short silences. Like they're saved up for <em> words </em>. Junkyu terribly wants to ask him about it, but he doesn’t even know where to begin. </p><p>"Nothing." </p><p>Junkyu can't figure it out.</p><p> </p><p>🐼</p><p>Whenever they go out for a drink, they always both consume more than what they can handle. When this happens, Jihoon tends to lose control over his brain-to-mouth filter, and Junkyu just passes out without warning. Because of this, they had made sure to drink where it is safe for both of them - which is to say, in the confines of their apartments. </p><p>And because he had been driven with liquor courage, Jihoon had blurted out, “I love you.” </p><p>And Junkyu had looked up at him (he was lying on Jihoon’s lap), beamed, and said, “In case you die?” </p><p>“Yeah, sure. In case I die.” Jihoon ran his fingers through his hair. Junkyu was mumbling something but the words were too slurred. </p><p>When Jihoon spoke again, Junkyu had already drifted off to sleep.</p><p>"But also in case I don't die… which doesn't make sense. I guess I just love you, Junkyu. Simple as that." Jihoon laughed bitterly, still carding his fingers through Junkyu's hair. "But that doesn't make any sense, too." </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>ty for reading &lt;3 (one day i'll write a proper/better jikyu fic but this is it for now x)</p><p>part 2 soon </p><p>edit: part 2 is up!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>haha ok, i'll be honest. when i posted the first part i didn't know what i was doing. the story didnt appear to have a plot (bcz it didnt, i just wanted to write dumb pining bffs jikyu), so as i began part 2, i noted down details from p1 and worked my way from there. so ig from here on, u'll notice my attempt on making this a proper story. srry abt the mess i just rly like jikyu.</p><p>just a heads up: the ff will have /pet death/ being alluded to. if u want to avoid it,  it's on the first two povs of this part.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>🐷</p><p>Being keen isn't Hyunsuk's strongest suit, he'll admit that much, but there are some situations which naturally triggers his perception.</p><p>Even with his eyes on the road, and with half his brain trying to keep up with shifting gears, he can detect the tinge of tension in the air. </p><p>Yedam and Doyoung are chattering excitedly at the back seat, pitching local Iksan dishes they wish to get a taste of on their weekend trip. (No one would think they just came from lunch the way they rave about the food.) </p><p>What is supposedly a quick and a no-cost assignment, they turn into a vacation. </p><p>The gang has started planning it as soon as Doyoung mentioned his reporting assignment in Regional History a couple of weeks ago. It's <em> his </em>grade on the line so he goes out of his way to plan the itinerary. Yedam helps him out a bit with the accommodation, Hyunsuk and Junkyu kind of just goes along with whatever they’re saying, and Jihoon has pitched in about stuff they missed, or has contradicted Doyoung’s ideas with his skepticism. </p><p>But that was Jihoon last week. </p><p>Now he’s just quiet, staring out of the window on the passenger seat. Hyunsuk sends him a wary glance after stopping at a red light. </p><p>His body seems frigid, like he's dead set on keeping his gaze outside, shying away from the conversation and his companions, and it only bothers Hyunsuk because it's so uncharacteristically <em> Jihoon.  </em></p><p>He flinches a little when Junkyu cuts through the younger ones' voices. </p><p>"<em> Guys. </em>" </p><p>Hyunsuk glances at the rearview mirror, but Junkyu's out of view. </p><p>“I don’t think I can make it.” Junkyu's tone sounds oddly sincere, but it takes a good look at his face to tell if he really is.</p><p>Doyoung is the first to react. “<em> Huh? What do you mean you can’t make it </em>?” </p><p>"I have… stuff to do. It just came up. I have to work on it on the weekend.” </p><p>Hyunsuk can only see Yedam in the rearview mirror, and the younger meets his eyes with a look that borders between confusion and skepticism. </p><p>"And you only thought to say that <em> now </em>when you had all the time at lunch?” </p><p>Doyoung has a point. </p><p>Now that he thinks about it, Jihoon isn't the only one who has been so out of it. </p><p>“I just remembered.” comes the nonchalant reply. </p><p>Doyoung whines, “Hyung, we already divided the expenses for five people! I don’t want to pay another extra amount.” </p><p>“Invite Jaehyuk. Or whoever.” </p><p>Hyunsuk glances at Jihoon again, who’s now staring straight ahead. His face is blank, but his eyes seem to blink a little too much than usual as if he's lost in his thoughts. </p><p>Hyunsuk doesn't get to turn this unusual behavior in his mind when the green light comes back on, and he has to keep his eyes back on the road. </p><p>The rest of the ride is basically just Doyoung and Yedam trying to change Junkyu's mind; Yedam even goes as far as to volunteer in helping him with whatever he has to finish. </p><p>Hyunsuk starts to feel bad for their younger friends' efforts, so he finally speaks up, “Junkyu, if you’re not going, then no one is.” </p><p>“You can't just put it on me like that, hyung. That’s not fair."  </p><p>Hyunsuk steers the vehicle into campus grounds when the two break into another round of persuasions, but Junkyu shuts them off with, “I love you all, really, but there’s nothing you can do to change my mind- Hyung, you can just drop me off here.” </p><p>The older peers at the wide structured building with a covered walkway leading up to the main entrance. Yedam voices out the same question that pops in his head, “Since when do you go to the library?” </p><p>Junkyu ignores this as he steps out of the car, bidding all of them a hurried goodbye. </p><p>“Well, that’s a downer.” </p><p>No one says anything more until Hyunsuk parks right outside the engineering building, and Doyoung blasts off, yelling about a forgotten homework and a professor who is <em> definitely </em>dropping his ass out of class this time. </p><p>Hyunsuk glances at Jihoon again, who's moving incredibly slow in tucking his phone in his backpack, lips still sealed shut. </p><p>Hyunsuk exchanges another knowing look with Yedam before the younger excuses himself and hurries out of the car. </p><p>Jihoon is just unlocking his door when Hyunsuk locks it again from his own panel. Jihoon unlocks. Hyunsuk locks. Jihoon unlocks. Hyunsuk locks. </p><p>“<em> Hyung </em>.” </p><p>“Oh, so you <em> do </em> know how to speak?” </p><p>Jihoon sighs, exasperated, and relaxes back against the seat. It's as if he knows Hyunsuk wouldn't let him off the hook without so much as an explanation. And he's right. </p><p>“Jihoon, what’s going on?” </p><p>The younger hesitates, then he resolves to say, “Nothing.” </p><p>“I might be taking a swing at nothing here but did something happen with you and Junkyu?” </p><p>Jihoon offers him a dismayed look before fixing his expression into nonchalance. He shakes his head. </p><p>“No. It’s nothing.” He stutters for a few more seconds, struggling to find the right words, “It’s between Junkyu and I. I don’t want to drag you into this, hyung.” </p><p>Hyunsuk nods, “Okay, but hurry up and fix it. The whole gang’s getting collateral damage ‘cuz of it.” </p><p>“Yeah, well.” Jihoon sighs, “That’s the thing. I’ve been trying to talk to him but he won’t even spare me a glance.” </p><p>"How long has this been going on?" </p><p>"Almost a week." </p><p>"A week?!" Hyunsuk gapes. He ponders for a moment. What's unsettling about this situation is that Junkyu doesn't usually hold grudges for that long, so the fact that it stretched on for a week indicates that the situation is potentially serious.</p><p>He turns to Jihoon, voice edging towards a serious tone, “What did you do?” </p><p>Jihoon lets out a frustrated groan. “You know that little tortoise he had-?” </p><p>“<em> Had </em>?” </p><p>"Yeah. Well, it died, and it’s sort of my fault." He corrects, "No, it <em> was </em>my fault.” </p><p>“Oh no. What happened?” </p><p>"I placed it in an empty pot then forgot to take it out. It must have starved overnight, I don’t know. The next morning, it was dead… and the carcass was being feasted on by ants.” </p><p>“Oh, <em> damn </em>.” </p><p>“Yep. You should have heard Junkyu's scream that morning. It almost woke up the entire building.” </p><p>“<em> You let him see that? </em>” </p><p>“I told you, I forgot about it!” </p><p>“You’re horrible.” </p><p>“That’s what he said too! Among other things, like <em> reptile murderer </em>-” </p><p>Hyunsuk guffaws. </p><p>“No, seriously, hyung. He went on about how I still use plastic straws and then, <em> ‘Do you even think about the turtles </em>?’ It’s not my fault the café still has them!” </p><p>Hyunsuk can almost picture out Junkyu's furious expression, and while he feels bad for him and the tragic fate of his pet, he couldn't help but laugh at Jihoon. </p><p>"You're a bit of a dumbass, do you know that?" </p><p>Jihoon groans again, repeatedly hitting his head against the headrest. “Should I get him another tortoise?” </p><p>“I think you should apologize.” </p><p>“But do I get him another tortoise?” </p><p>“I don’t know. I’m bad at relationship advice.” </p><p>It takes a whole second for the words to be processed by both parties. Hyunsuk doesn’t even realize what he said - it just came out of his mouth. They look at each other, and Hyunsuk is momentarily amused by the blush creeping on Jihoon’s face and the way he keeps opening his mouth to say something, flustered, but all that comes are incoherent stutters. </p><p>Hyunsuk laughs. “Sorry, that just slipped out. You kind of remind me of Suhyun and I when we have our fights. She can be very stubborn too.” </p><p>“So what do you do to resolve your fights?” </p><p>Hyunsuk shrugs. “I talk to her and give her lots of hugs and kisses.” A smile unknowingly creeps on Hyunsuk’s face upon the mention of his girlfriend. </p><p>He only snaps out of it when he feels Jihoon's intense gaze boring at the side of his face. He looks at him, and he can’t figure out if the younger is judging him for being all giddy about his love life again, or something else. </p><p>“But that wouldn’t work out for you and Junkyu, obviously.” </p><p>Jihoon nods as he purses his lips into a line, gaze shifting out the windshield. “Right.” </p><p> </p><p>🐼</p><p>In Jihoon's defense, he was drunk. </p><p>He has just managed to rouse Junkyu off his lap after several attempts of shaking him lightly and whispering nothings into his ear. </p><p>Well. It wasn't exactly 'nothing' - see, his mother expects him home early for the long weekend, and Jihoon still has to pack some stuff before heading out the next morning. He knows a drunk and a half-asleep Junkyu wouldn't be able to process all this if he relays it to him in the said state, but it's way better than blurting out his feelings again, at least. </p><p>Junkyu grumbles to himself as he adorably stomps his way out of the living room, and the little pinches in Jihoon's heart resurfaces as he realizes how quickly he misses the other's warmth. </p><p>As he gets on his feet, Jihoon spots the little tortoise crawling its way under the couch. Before he can fit his tiny head through the underside of the furniture, Jihoon gently picks him up, quickly scanning the room for the makeshift habitat Junkyu has made out of a glass salad bowl. (Jihoon doesn't know that his friend had taken it out for cleaning, and that the critter was purposely let out to allow him to exercise around the apartment.) </p><p>Jihoon places the reptile in the first thing he saw - an empty flower pot by the window ledge.</p><p>He's not lying when he says he forgot about it as soon as he placed it there, because as Jihoon gathers his stuff lying around the room, preparing to take his leave, the bedroom door suddenly slams open, and out comes Junkyu still with that adorable scowl. </p><p>"What? What is it?" Jihoon asks defensively when the other charges at him. </p><p>Junkyu grabs his wrist then pulls him wordlessly towards the bedroom. </p><p>Baffled, Jihoon can only allow himself to be tugged, a part of him confused by the other's actions and a part of him afraid of the seething expression on Junkyu's face. </p><p>His confusion only rises when Junkyu pulls him into the bed with him, all with his coat on and everything. Before Jihoon can even think of sitting up, Junkyu throws one leg over him, pulls him close, and finally locks him with an arm over his chest. </p><p>Jihoon stops breathing for a second. </p><p>He feels Junkyu snuggling closer on his shoulder, and it <em> tickles so bad he almost lets out a scream.  </em></p><p>"Stay." Junkyu whispers, and Jihoon almost didn’t catch the word. His head is throbbing, and he knows it has nothing to do with the alcohol and everything to do with the way his heart is pounding in his chest right now. </p><p>"Y-yeah. Okay.” Jihoon taps the other’s arm, the one slung over him, and moves to slide his hand down in a gentle gesture then stops short on his wrist. “Sure."  </p><p>Jihoon hasn’t even had the chance to slip his coat off, but that’s the least of his worries. </p><p>He thinks, <em> I’m never gonna get over this idiot </em>.</p><p>Jihoon turns to his side, but he can only see the top of Junkyu's head as he curls in on himself, forehead touching Jihoon’s shoulder.  </p><p>"Good night, Kyu." </p><p>Jihoon falls asleep with a clear mind and a racing heart, not knowing about the predicament the morning would bring forth to him. </p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>After the talk with Hyunsuk, Jihoon finds himself waiting outside Junkyu’s door, practicing his apology over and over in his head. </p><p>If his memory serves him right, Junkyu is still in class at this hour, and he wouldn't be around until later. </p><p>So Jihoon resolves to wait, propping cross-legged on the hallway floor. Every time he hears voices or footsteps approach, he would look up expectantly, only to be let down. The more time ticks, the more nervous he gets. </p><p><em> It's just Junkyu </em> , he tells himself, but his mind immediately refutes it: <em> That's the thing. It's Junkyu </em>.</p><p>He looks up once more when he hears rustling.</p><p>"Kyu!" </p><p>Junkyu trudges down the hall with a pleasant expression, swinging the grocery bags in his hands, but as soon as he notices Jihoon, it's as if the light in his eyes gets switched off. Junkyu doesn't hesitate; he turns back towards the exit. </p><p>"Kyu!" </p><p>When Jihoon catches up with him, Junkyu takes another turn, heading towards his apartment. He doesn't make an effort to speed up his pace. In fact, it's like Jihoon isn't even there, casually walking down the hall with a sole purpose to get home.</p><p>Jihoon repeats his name, but he still gets ignored. He tries to tug one bag from him, and surprisingly, Junkyu lets him take it. </p><p>It isn't until they reach the door when Junkyu shows him signs of acknowledgment - he takes the bag from Jihoon, enters the apartment, then slams the door on his face. </p><p>Jihoon pretends that that didn't hurt him as he raps at the door. "Kyu? Can we please talk?" </p><p>No answer. </p><p>"Junkyu, I won't leave until you let me in." And with slight conviction, he adds, "I'm serious." </p><p>Still no answer. </p><p>Jihoon sighs, sliding down the floor and returning to his previous position leaning against the wall.</p><p>"I'll be right here if you change your mind." He says to no one. </p><p>He thinks he has sat there for five minutes - he has sent Junkyu a few text messages and a selca to prove his determination. He receives a tinge of hope when his friend reads his messages, and that's when the idea strikes him. </p><p>He takes out a pen from his jacket pocket, then finds a crumpled up receipt from his jeans. </p><p>He straightens the paper to the best of his ability, rips it in half then turns one piece over. This is what he writes: </p><p>
  <em> I’m sorry </em>
</p><p>He believes he can do better than that, but it's the sincerest he can get. </p><p>He slips the note through the little gap under the door then gives a little knock. He also texts Junkyu to come to the door, just to be sure.</p><p>Minutes tick by and his heart gradually tears apart at the lack of response. </p><p>But he still has the other half of the receipt, and that’s enough to drive him for another try. </p><p>He writes: <em> Ninja didn't deserve it, I know. I take all the blame. We'll hold a proper funeral for him. Would that be okay?  </em></p><p><em> ‘Ninja’ </em>is the turtle's name. Junkyu initially wanted to name him after one of the ninja turtles, then realizes that their names are too long, complaining how english names always give him a headache. So he settled with 'Ninja'. </p><p>Jihoon slips the second note and knocks on the door again. He's just about to send another text to Junkyu when he sees the paper being slipped back out.  </p><p>It's the first note, and just below his handwriting says, <em> don't be childish.  </em></p><p>With a grin on his face, Jihoon hastily makes a reply, using the space below Junkyu's handwriting to jot down, <em> Open the door please?  </em></p><p>After slipping the note, Jihoon gets on his feet, heart racing. </p><p>He hasn’t even properly steeled himself before the door cracks open - just a tiny crack - and Junkyu peeks out at him with one eye. </p><p>Jihoon smiles. “Hi.” </p><p>Junkyu stares at him. </p><p>“May I come in?” </p><p>Junkyu hesitates for half a second before stepping back and pulling the door wider, just enough for the other to come through. </p><p>The door clicks close, and Junkyu slowly turns to face Jihoon. </p><p>To his surprise, Junkyu beats him into speaking. "You don't have to apologize. It wasn't your fault." </p><p>Something inside Jihoon dispels, like air leaving his lungs to slither around him then settle under his feet, lifting him, making him feel lighter. The feeling is only short-lived however when he notices the tinge of sadness masked on his friend's features. "Kyu." </p><p>"I vented out my grief by blaming you." Junkyu meets his eyes quickly before casting his gaze down the floor. "Sorry." </p><p>"No, Kyu. I totally understand why you'd be upset with me. And I know nothing I'd say now would take back what happened, but I truly am sorry." </p><p>He takes a tentative step closer, testing the waters. When Junkyu doesn't shy away, he takes another, just enough distance for him to put a hand on the other's shoulder.</p><p>Junkyu finally looks at him, and Jihoon trembles a little both at the intensity and proximity of his gaze. "Do you think Ninja was happy with me?"</p><p>
  <em> Anyone would be happy to have been with you.  </em>
</p><p>"Yes." Jihoon wipes the lone tear that drops on Junkyu's cheek. "I'm positive." </p><p>The swirl of emotions wipes him off his feet again as Junkyu throws his arms over Jihoon, pulling him into an embrace. </p><p>He let him cry on his shoulder, Junkyu sniffing every now and then, and Jihoon can only caress his back because that's the only thing he could think of to do. </p><p>He couldn't tell how much time has passed with them just standing there in each others' arms, but Jihoon's heart has been pounding so hard enough that he counted over 200 heartbeats. </p><p>He loses count only when Junkyu mumbles something, voice muffled in his clothing. </p><p>"What was that, Kyu?" </p><p>"I said," He says clearer, louder, though his tone still has that nasally tinge due to all the crying.</p><p>"When are we holding the funeral?" </p><p>Jihoon smiles into the crook of Junkyu's shoulder, noting how he's using the perfume he stole from Jihoon before. (They argued about it a little before Jihoon compromised by buying him a brand new bottle.) </p><p>He runs a hand over Junkyu's back in what he hopes is a relaxing gesture. </p><p>"Whenever it's good for you, Kyu." </p><p> </p><p>🐰</p><p>It's the day of the trip, they're all ready, excited <em> and </em>complete. </p><p>Junkyu ends up going after all. And that's when - <em> surprise surprise </em>- he and Jihoon started acting normal again. </p><p>If Doyoung's honest, he's tired of seeing them dance around their feelings. But he's not about to jump into a situation that doesn't involve him. At least, not yet. Who knows - maybe one of these days, he'll snap and knock their heads together or something. </p><p>In the KTX on their way to Iksan, Hyunsuk blabbers by Doyoung's side, talking about a football game the younger's only half-listening to. Across the aisle, Junkyu's chuckling about something Jihoon has said, but when does he not. </p><p>Doyoung glances at Yedam, who looks as if he has been waiting for him to stare back, motioning subtly at Junkyu by his side, and Jihoon, who's sitting alone a seat ahead. Yedam tugs at his ear before leaning against the backrest, giving Doyoung a proper view of Junkyu - he's tugging playfully at Jihoon's ear, laughing lightly when Jihoon swats him away. Then the latter hisses, saying, "Kyu, we're in public." </p><p>"Oh. Okay. Sorry." Junkyu leans back, his lower lip jutting out in a slight pout. In the background, Hyunsuk is still going on about the match between <em> Arsenal </em> and <em> Manchester… City? United? </em>It's a Manchester team. </p><p>Jihoon peeks out of the gap between the seats. </p><p>He says something - Doyoung's too far away to hear - but it elicits a head shake from Junkyu. Yedam glances sideways again when Junkyu moves to lean his head on his shoulder. Yedam stiffens, eyes pleading at Doyoung for help. </p><p>On the other hand, Doyoung’s too engrossed with the way Jihoon looks at the two for a whole 10 seconds (he counted) before getting comfortable in his seat again to respond to Yedam’s silent plea. </p><p>Still in the background, Hyunsuk is now talking about an underrated Arsenal player which Doyoung has not managed to catch the name of, so he segues, "You wanna talk underappreciated, hyung? Two words - Bacary Sagna." </p><p>The older lets out a groan of approval. "Right?! Such a solid defender. Incredible speed, excellent leap - oh, what I would give to get him back with the Gunners...”</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>Their first stop is the Stone Pagoda. As it turns out, Junkyu and Jihoon go back to normal right after they step out of the KTX. Doyoung pays them no attention for the rest of the day because after all, he's not here to take notes on <em> them. </em> </p><p>
  <em> Mireuksaji Stone Pagoda is the oldest stone pagoda remaining in Korea and designated-   </em>
</p><p>"My Kyu!”</p><p>
  <em> -as the 11th national treasure. It was-  </em>
</p><p>“If I dance to <em> Love Scenario </em> right here, will you pay me 10,000 won?" </p><p>
  <em> -constructed during the Baekje kingdom-  </em>
</p><p>"-Is your dignity really that cheap?" </p><p>
  <em> -around 18 BCE-660 CE-  </em>
</p><p>"But will you?" </p><p>"No!" </p><p>With a huff, Doyoung isolates himself from the two idiots who contribute nothing to his project but a splitting headache. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The next site is the palace and stoneworks in <em> Wanggung-ri.  </em></p><p>Kim Junkyu has shamelessly blurted out upon looking up at the palace ruin, all for the rest of the other tourists to hear, “Why, doesn’t this look similar to the last one?” </p><p>This just goes to show how he hasn't been paying attention since the first site. </p><p>Still with an effort to distance himself from his embarrassing friends, Doyoung resolves to step back and take a few photos of the landmark, making sure to widen the scope of his shots for a prettier view. </p><p>The only problem is, when he checks his shots in the bus on the way to the hotel, he realizes that the best photos are photobombed by two grown men chasing each other in the fields. </p><p>Despite his annoyance, the younger couldn't get himself to delete them, especially when the big grins on their faces exude genuine joy and well, <em> love </em> or whatever. </p><p>Doyoung couldn't help glancing at the two, seated at the farthest seat in the back. This time, Junkyu is leaning his head on Jihoon's shoulder, dozing off, and Jihoon is bending his head towards him, watching him silently. </p><p>For some reason, this tells Doyoung that this is how it should have been in the KTX when Jihoon gave Yedam that 10-second glare. And for some reason he couldn’t quite explain, Doyoung finds himself agreeing.</p><p> </p><p>🐼</p><p>Junkyu never seems to have a sense of urgency, and Jihoon almost always suffers the consequences, only because he couldn't seem to resist the other even if he tried. </p><p>"We're going to be late, Kyu!" Jihoon complains after his friend let out the loudest coo and stepped over the bush to crouch under it. </p><p>He has no idea how his friend manages to spot them in their hiding places - Jihoon didn’t even sense a thing - but sure enough, a white furry head comes peeking out under the shrubs. </p><p>Junkyu squeals a little as he holds out his palm at the cat. </p><p>“<em> Kyu </em>.” Jihoon tries to instill sternness in his tone, but his voice only sounds as if he’s giving up. (Which he is.) </p><p>"Oh, I'm sure your friends can wait for a few more minutes." Junkyu dismisses him with a gesture, then proceeds to stroke the cat as she nuzzles by his feet. </p><p>Jihoon has walked together with him countless times, and for every time they see a stray dog or cat along the way, Junkyu has <em> always </em>stopped to give them pats. </p><p>And Jihoon <em> always </em>pretends to be annoyed, even though he finds an inexplicable warmth whenever he sees Junkyu enjoying himself around animals.</p><p>Junkyu looks up at him, squinting at the sunlight blinding his eyes. </p><p>"Can we take her home?"</p><p>"What?" Jihoon blinks. "We don't even live toge-" And when Junkyu doubles over chuckling, he realizes that it's all been done on purpose to catch him off-guard. He gotta say, it worked. </p><p>"You should have seen your face!" </p><p>Slightly affronted, Jihoon glances around and spots a group of teenagers approaching their direction at an alarming rate.</p><p>He knows he's probably plotting to embarrass himself, but deep within, he's all on board with this '<em> roleplaying </em>' and that goes beyond just teasing Junkyu. </p><p>"<em> My Kyu, </em>we already have 5 dogs and 4 cats! We can't afford to adopt another one. We'd be breathing fur by then!" </p><p>If Jihoon is good at playing along, Junkyu's way better.</p><p>He stands up and puts both hands on his waist in an argumentative stance. "Think about it, honey! If we adopt this cat, then they’d all be even!" </p><p>The teenagers have caught up with them at this point. Unlike Jihoon's expectations, they don't seem fazed about the very public couple argument they're witnessing. In fact, one of them even shoots a thumbs up. "I say adopt the cat."</p><p>"Don't meddle in someone else's business, Yuna!" </p><p>"What? I was just trying to help!" </p><p>The moment they turned into another block, Jihoon and Junkyu burst laughing. </p><p>“I really can’t win over you, can I?” </p><p>The voice living in the back of Jihoon’s mind answers for him: <em> No. No, you can’t </em>. </p><p>Junkyu purses his lips smugly into what one can assume to be a victory smile. “Nope. You’ve got to try better next time, honey. Now, where’s that cat?” </p><p>Jihoon brushes off the lingering butterflies within him as they both look around the bushes for their furry friend. When they couldn’t find a trace of her anymore, they resolve to leave, and Jihoon has to console a sulky Junkyu who is completely bummed about losing the chance of saying goodbye.</p><p> </p><p>🦊</p><p>Autumn rolls in faster than he has expected, lush of red and yellow brimming the scenery of his usual route to school. </p><p>It’s the same view here, in the convenience store, as Yedam looks out the big glass windows, towards the ginkgo and maple trees. </p><p>Jihoon and Junkyu are taking turns naming local restaurants they claim are ‘good’, and seeming how they all have the conversation handled, Yedam doesn’t bother joining in. </p><p>Beside him is Yoshinori, the one on the other end of the conversation, trying his best to note down everything they say in his phone. </p><p>Yoshi is a Japanese transfer student, and as an officer of the Engineering student council, Yedam’s obliged to show him around despite being a couple of years lower. On the other hand, Jihoon is in the same year as the former, and when he found out that Yedam’s assigned with him, he took it upon himself to help the younger out, noting how it’d be easier for their foreign friend with two guides. </p><p>A few minutes later, the light chatter dies down and they all bask in the generic convenience store music. </p><p>He has no idea how his two friends had been acting thus far - he has been only partially paying attention after all - but something tells him that it’s the usual. </p><p>They tend to forget - Junkyu and Jihoon - that the only people who are used to their love-hate friendship (with a dash of flirting on the side) are their closest friends. So when they act the same way around other people, they get asked questions like this: </p><p>"So, how long have you guys been dating?" </p><p><em> Now </em>he’s paying attention.  </p><p>Yedam almost laughs at the series of reactions if it wasn’t for the genuine curiosity in Yoshinori’s tone. </p><p>Jihoon chokes on his drink. Yoshi panics. Junkyu chortles, pointing out how Jihoon choking on beverages is a normal occurrence, and that he has nothing to worry about. </p><p>Still, Yoshi offers him his soda which Jihoon gladly accepts and empties in a second.</p><p>"Was I too intrusive?" Yoshi asks, face masked with guilt. The reason he’s so good at Korean is because of his part-Korean blood, some of his relatives immersing him in the language at an early age. </p><p>Jihoon shakes his head. "Oh no. No, no, no. It's not that." He pauses to clear the remaining roughness in his throat. "The question took me off-guard is all."</p><p>"We're just friends." Junkyu clarifies as he sends a tight-lipped smile at Yoshi’s direction. </p><p>"So you're <em> not </em>together?" </p><p>Junkyu shakes his head, scrunching up his nose as if disgusted by the idea of dating Jihoon. And Jihoon, on the other hand, inches a little away from him, making sure to stick out his tongue at his friend. </p><p>Yedam and Yoshi look at each other, and the younger wishes he could convey the words he couldn’t express out loud that says - <em> yes. Yes, they’re telling the truth </em>. </p><p>"We <em> did </em>date, though." Junkyu’s voice cuts through the air alarmingly loud. He’s looking at Jihoon with widened eyes as if implying something the other should have guessed by then, but in all honesty, Jihoon just looks confused. And panicked. And flushed. </p><p>"Oh?" Yoshi turns from one to the other. </p><p>"Theoretically." Junkyu continues and it’s at this point where Jihoon’s features start to mask realization. </p><p>He shakes his head. "Junkyu, shut up." </p><p>Junkyu isn’t listening. He appears to be enjoying the fact that Jihoon is starting to get flustered and that a faint crimson blush is creeping on his face. Not that Junkyu ever notices that. </p><p>"For like, 5 minutes." </p><p>“<em> Shut up </em>.” </p><p>Junkyu laughs. </p><p>There’s a flash of discomfort in Jihoon’s eyes and Yedam badly wants to meet his gaze and reassure him, but the older’s trying his best to not look at anyone. </p><p>Beside him, Yoshi asks, “So it was a joke?” </p><p>“Yeah, just messing with you.” Junkyu replies. </p><p>They never brought it up again - the conversation Yedam and Jihoon had at the basketball court, about Jihoon being the one who’s different. </p><p>But based on the way Jihoon has been acting lately, it’s obvious that he’s overthinking it and Yedam couldn’t help but blame himself for that. </p><p>The conversation somehow transitions to the terror professors in the Engineering department, one which Junkyu couldn’t relate to, so it’s his turn to stay quiet and Jihoon is the one entertaining Yoshi’s questions. </p><p>Yedam tries to be in the conversation this time, he really does. </p><p>But Junkyu’s sitting right in front of him, exuding an aura akin to the feeling of spring, even though it’s the middle of fall, like there are hundreds and thousands of flowers blooming under the influence of his silent vehemence. </p><p>Yedam couldn’t help noting how he has kept his eyes on Jihoon the whole time, all with a fond smile on his face. </p><p>This feels a lot like deja vu - Yedam has read this in a book somewhere, when authors describe the glaze in one’s eyes as they stare- and then he thinks, <em> Oh </em>. </p><p>Oh, if only Doyoung was here. </p><p>Yedam couldn’t wait to tell him. </p><p> </p><p>🐼</p><p>Something happens. </p><p>Just when Jihoon thinks he’s finally spared of the gnawing tension between him and Junkyu, it appears to have started again. </p><p>The reason? </p><p>“I told you to stop calling me that.” </p><p>Jihoon gawks at him, his mind running a few miles an hour trying to figure out what was so wrong about calling him, ‘<em> My Kyu </em>.’ </p><p>“But I thought you grew on it?”</p><p>“I did.” Junkyu meets his eyes for a quick second before dropping it on his half-eaten chocolate cake. “Now I hate it again.”</p><p>Jihoon doesn’t want to show how he’s badly affected by this sudden change of sentiments, but he can’t. “Why? How?” </p><p>“I don’t know, just- stop calling me your-" Junkyu visibly swallows, but Jihoon’s too distracted to give anything too much thought, "<em> Just stop calling me that </em>."</p><p>Aside from the day that the name was (partly) agreed upon, Junkyu has never told Jihoon off about it. </p><p>He hadn’t complained when Jihoon used the name to reprimand him for counting Jihoon’s moles again. He hadn’t said anything when Jihoon shouted it in the hallway of Junkyu’s department, all for the rest of the students to hear. He never whined when Jihoon called him ‘My Kyu’ in front of other people - their friends, friends of friends, strangers, even their family. So Jihoon doesn’t really understand this sudden change of heart, but- okay.  </p><p>“Okay.” Jihoon finally says, because again, he always has trouble saying no to him. </p><p> </p><p>🐨</p><p>Junkyu drops his arms to his side, the unanswered question completely forgotten now as he stares back at Jihoon, who doesn't seem to notice that they have fallen into silence.</p><p>Junkyu says, "You're looking at me like that again."</p><p>Finally, Jihoon blinks, and the daze in his eyes disappears. </p><p>"Like what?" </p><p>(Like he hung the stars in the sky.) </p><p>(Like characters do in books.) </p><p>(Like Hyunsuk to his girlfriend.) </p><p>"Like that." </p><p>Junkyu can never figure it out. </p><p> </p><p>🐼</p><p>It's a truth universally acknowledged that Jihoon's apartment is not the best place to kill time. </p><p>So it's quite fair to say that there’s still a loadful of things he’s not used to whenever his friends come over. First, there’s the noise. Second, the little to no available space to move around in when all five of them come over. Third, the amount of space to move around when only Junkyu comes over. </p><p>Lastly, when Junkyu is sprawled on his floor, beaming, eyes glinting from the reflection of the silver ornaments on the little tree he propped on the coffee table. (There’s nothing particularly wrong about this, Jihoon is just not used to seeing Junkyu in his place. Alone. Most especially alone.) </p><p>"Do you like it?" Junkyu turns to him, eyes alight with excitement. </p><p>Jihoon's mind blanks. </p><p> See - Junkyu begins Christmas shopping in September, where prices are cheap but the festive goodies are still scarce. He goes again sometime in November where stores are slowly transitioning from halloween decorations to the Yuletide season. </p><p>Right after shopping, Junkyu insisted on visiting him. The excitement and urgency in his tone hinted some sort of surprise, leaving Jihoon to acquiesce. He only understood the entire situation when he had opened the front door earlier and found his friend carrying a mini christmas tree.</p><p>"I love it." The words leave his mouth almost mechanically. </p><p>Jihoon still thinks it’s funny that whenever they find themselves in the topic of haunted elements, Junkyu would start his monologue about how he doesn’t believe in ghosts. There’s definitely nothing wrong with that, but Jihoon thinks it’s such a crazy thing to say when he believes in Santa Claus instead. </p><p>Junkyu rolls his eyes. "You didn't even look at it." </p><p>"I was- not-" Jihoon strips his gaze away from him, flushed, and takes another look at the tree. It's small. It's green, and Junkyu just seems to know his minimalist taste because the only ornaments hanging around are tiny silver balls. </p><p>He lets the rest of his excuse dissipate in his thoughts, saying, "It's beautiful, Kyu. I appreciate the gesture. Thank you." </p><p>Junkyu visibly shudders, "I hate when you go all formal with me. What the hell is wrong with you?" </p><p>Jihoon chucks a throw pillow in his direction, which misses the tree by an inch, which misses Junkyu completely. "It's called <em> manners </em>." </p><p>"Well, I don't like it." He reaches into his pocket then takes out his phone. "By the way, will you let me in your wifi now? Please?" </p><p>Junkyu starts to bat his eyelashes at him and Jihoon averts his gaze away. Just because. "No." </p><p>"But you let Hyunsuk hyung in!"</p><p>"I did not! He guessed it by himself." </p><p>"Really? You didn't give out any hints, did you?" </p><p>"Of course not. It's hyung. He's quick-witted. And old. If that matters." </p><p>"He's only older by a year." </p><p>"A year is a long time." </p><p>"Yeah. 365 days." </p><p>"52 weeks." </p><p>Junkyu's quiet for a moment and Jihoon finally takes this moment to spare him a glance; his signature pout is on his features, eyes drooping down to the table between them. </p><p>Jihoon sighs. "Okay. If it's really important, then I can let you connect but-"</p><p>The other cuts him off with a laugh. Before Jihoon can process what's happening, Junkyu has scooted around the table, so that now they're sitting with barely enough space side by side. </p><p>"It’s not about connecting to the wifi, Ji. I'm more interested in the password than the wifi itself. The way Hyunsuk hyung raves about it, you’d think there’s a hundred million won award when you finally get around to cracking it." </p><p>"Of course he does." </p><p>"So." Junkyu nudges him. "Any hints for me?" </p><p>Jihoon gives a firm shake of his head.</p><p>"But I'm your best friend!" </p><p>"You're all my best friends!" He retaliates. </p><p>"But I'm your <em> best </em>of best friends!" </p><p>"Now you're just making things up." The rush of warmth in his chest urges him on his feet, and Jihoon heads towards the kitchenette just to grant himself a quick moment to steel himself. </p><p>Bending over the sink, Jihoon ruminates on his life choices. </p><p>“Park Jihoon!” </p><p>Jihoon turns the faucet on and lets the cold water run through his hands. The gush of the water doesn’t do anything to tune out Junkyu’s approaching footsteps, nor his nasally voice when he repeats Jihoon’s name. </p><p>Nor does it do anything to alleviate his racing heart. </p><p>He realizes, for one panic-stricken moment, that he didn’t choose to fall in love with Junkyu. And that he doesn’t know his way out of this, any more than knowing his way in. </p><p>The amount it takes for him to dry his hands on the dish towel is right about the time it takes for him to muster the courage to face the other.</p><p>Junkyu frowns at him, motioning over his shoulder. “Jihoon, the faucet.” </p><p>“Oh, right.” He quickly turns the tap off, and allows himself to relax against the sink. It’s quite a futile attempt when he looks up to meet Junkyu’s eyes, and he falters under his gaze once again. </p><p>"I have to change it." Jihoon whispers into the silence, and he doesn’t know if the other has heard him and just didn’t understand the context of his words, because his brows knit into a scowl. </p><p>"Huh?"</p><p>Jihoon continues, "That's the hint: I have to change the password." </p><p>"That's not really helping." </p><p>
  <em> mykyu0909 </em>
</p><p>Every time he remembers the name, Jihoon receives a blow to his gut. He still can’t get over the fact that Junkyu has asked him to stop calling him that, and he will never get over it until he learns the reason why. </p><p>"Care to tell me why you asked to stop calling you 'My Kyu'?" </p><p>Junkyu’s face flashes shock for a fraction of a second before it softens into a look that lures Jihoon into a daze. </p><p>Between the two of them, Junkyu’s more vocal of his adoration of the other's physical features - tracing Jihoon’s moles, complimenting his fit physique (leaving Jihoon to blush mad crazy), and even the little looks of approval every time Jihoon tries something new with his hair. </p><p>Whether he means them or not, Jihoon is flattered, and he hopes that Junkyu knows that he’s just as beautiful. Even <em> more </em> than Jihoon will ever be. <em> More </em>than anyone he has ever known. He doesn't think anyone can manage to shine under the shitty kitchenette lighting, but Junkyu does. </p><p>“You’re looking at me like that again.”</p><p>Jihoon blinks away from his daze, the words sinking in a little late, making him flush. “Like what?”</p><p>There’s a pause, and Junkyu almost looks as if he’s trying to figure it out. He doesn’t know why he’s starting to feel nervous, but Jihoon can’t deny the pounding in his chest as Junkyu scrutinizes him.</p><p>Then finally, with a defeated and almost frustrated tone, he says, “Like that.” </p><p>A sigh escapes Jihoon’s lips, but it’s not out of relief. </p><p>“<em> Junkyu </em>.” </p><p>There’s no way out, but Jihoon is hyperaware of where he wants to go, regardless of what’s meeting him in his destination. He’s tired of this hopeless nerve-racking journey. </p><p>“Hmm?” Junkyu appears nervous, if the way he fidgets with his hands is any indication. But he holds his gaze, and so does Jihoon. After this, Jihoon can avoid looking him in the eye for all he wants, but not for this time. </p><p>There’s no pause there. No hesitation. Jihoon just blurts it out before he could change his mind, </p><p>"I think I'm falling in love with you." </p><p>His entire world stills when Junkyu laughs. Then it shatters just a little when he speaks with a light teasing tone, “What are you talking about -is this one of your jokes? Or- oh I know!” Junkyu snaps his fingers, “<em> Roleplaying </em>!” </p><p>“No.” </p><p>For once in his life, Jihoon wants to confess properly. He’s tired of looking from afar, of keeping his feelings to himself, of being a coward, of being a pathetic loser. </p><p>He wants to confess, and he wants to do it sober, sane, and while he still has the courage. </p><p>“No, Kyu. It’s not roleplaying. And I’m not following it with ‘in case I die’.” </p><p>“What is it then?” </p><p>Jihoon shrugs. “It’s just my feelings.” He adds, “Plain, simple, and honest feelings.” </p><p>He almost takes back ‘simple’ because nothing about falling in love with your best friend is simple. </p><p>But what difference would it make when Junkyu has already fixed his gaze on the floor and looks as though he's scrambling for a response? </p><p>"Jihoon, I-" Almost in a shy way, Junkyu looks up to meet his gaze. "I never had someone confess to me before." </p><p>He smiles, and it's the kind of smile which sends Jihoon into overdrive, one which Jihoon believes is especially for him. </p><p>"And I certainly have not confessed to anyone in my life too." </p><p>Jihoon has prepared himself for the confession, including the rejection that <em> should </em>follow right after. He knows exactly what to say when Junkyu turns him down - no matter what, Jihoon would want to stay friends. He doesn't want to make it weird. His feelings are all on him and he's going to deal with it by himself, but Jihoon would never want to break his friendship with Junkyu. </p><p>He has never considered the more favorable option. </p><p>It should have been '<em> if </em> Junkyu turns him down', and not ' <em> when </em>'. </p><p>And now that it looks as if Junkyu holds an answer that doesn't appear to be a rejection, Jihoon finds that he's not prepared for it. </p><p>Junkyu opens his mouth to say something, but he quickly cuts him off. </p><p>"I'm planning to bake muffins for Doyoung's birthday. Do you want to help out or-?"</p><p>Jihoon's not sure if he's frowning at the interruption or for the sudden change of topic. "His birthday isn't for a month, though." </p><p>"I know. I'm still practicing." </p><p>"Oh." Junkyu nods, "Okay, I'll help. But I should warn you - I'm not the best in the kitchen." </p><p>Jihoon hides a smile as he walks towards the fridge. "So am I. Do you think two bad bakers working together would make one good muffin tray?" </p><p>"I don't think it works that way." </p><p>"Totally. Don't know why I said that." Jihoon sticks his head in the fridge to hide a blush as Junkyu's laughter rings in the cramped kitchenette. </p><p><br/>
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</p><p>Thankfully, they act all normal for the next couple of hours - Junkyu sitting on the kitchen table, laughing at Jihoon as he messily stirs the batter they somehow managed to make. Jihoon dipping his finger in the mixture and spreading some on Junkyu’s face. Them running around chasing each other in the kitchenette. And the muffins looking completely okay as they take it out of the oven, but when it's time for them to try it, Jihoon and Junkyu give each other a look one can identify as mutual distaste, and laugh out loud at their blatant failure. </p><p>They did not talk about what they should have. It’s as if the entire moment didn’t even happen. Jihoon can’t figure out if they’re doing the right thing. </p><p>When it’s time for Junkyu to leave, Jihoon realizes that it’s not. </p><p>For the first time ever, Jihoon walks him to the door, and if Junkyu notices this ‘formal’ gesture, he doesn’t say anything to point it out, or to laugh at him about it. </p><p>Jihoon doesn’t want him to leave. At least, not yet. He’s still not brave enough to proceed with the confession, no. Just. He just wants Junkyu to stay for a few more minutes. </p><p>Junkyu steps out of the doorway then turns around to give him a little wave, lips pursed into an adorable little smile. </p><p>"Thanks for the tree.” Jihoon starts, “And for helping out. With the muffins." </p><p>Junkyu chuckles. "Since when do you thank me for stuff like that?" </p><p>“Since- uhm- well-” As Jihoon stammers and shifts his gaze nervously from anything that is <em> not </em>the man in front of him, the teasing gleam from Junkyu’s eyes fade out, and his face settles into a delicate smile. In one swift move, he leans in to plant a peck on Jihoon's cheek, shutting him up. </p><p>"I love you." He says, and Junkyu makes the wise decision of not waiting for a response before leaving, because Jihoon looks as though he’s not going to recover any time soon. Jihoon stands by the open doorway, light-headed and a little thrown. </p><p>Even after he has gotten himself to close the front door, he still can’t seem to move his feet, leaning against the door as he gives in to his screaming heart. </p><p>Jihoon buries his face in his hands, feeling the burn on his cheeks. He feels like screaming too because Junkyu didn't follow it with the usual, 'in case I die'. </p><p> </p><p>🐨</p><p>Junkyu has always liked counting and tracing Jihoon's moles. Don't ask him why. He just does. </p><p>Well. Okay. </p><p>Maybe he does it to get a rise out of Jihoon on purpose. Maybe he does it to get the other's attention. Maybe he does it just so he can have an excuse to touch him. Maybe he does it for that electrifying feeling every time their skins make contact. </p><p>Being able to touch his face is one thing, and now, having the chance to trace the moles <em> in his back </em> is another. </p><p>"Are you <em> happy </em>?" Jihoon asks, face half-muffled in a pillow. He's laying on his stomach, shirtless, and Junkyu's occupying the space beside him on the bed, hovering over him delightedly. </p><p>"Yes!" He responds, not even trying to hide his excitement. "Wow, Jihoon. Your back is a galaxy." </p><p>Jihoon lets out a strangled sound that Junkyu can only assume is a chuckle. </p><p>The other man suddenly flips over and leans forward to steal a kiss on Junkyu's lips.  </p><p>"Don't overdo it, babe." </p><p>Junkyu retaliates by shoving him back down face-first. </p><p>"Stay still! I'm counting every beauty mark even if it takes me the entire night." </p><p>"Good luck with that." </p><p>It could have been an easy task if Junkyu had a pen to mark those he already counted. He keeps rounding back to the first star, and before he knows it, Junkyu's counting constellations again. </p><p>Jihoon's incredibly still, back rising steadily with every breath. Junkyu whispers, "Are you asleep?" </p><p>"Yes." </p><p>Junkyu sighs, letting his head fall on the other's bare back. </p><p>"Giving up already?" </p><p>"I'm just taking a break." </p><p>"How far have you counted?" </p><p>"A thousand." </p><p>"Hmm." </p><p>Still with his cheek pressed on the other's back, Junkyu traces Jihoon's back moles with his forefinger, but only those within his view point. </p><p>Jihoon fidgets a little and Junkyu laughs when he realizes he's ticklish. </p><p>Despite this, Jihoon doesn't tell him off. </p><p>His chest erupts in the sort of warmth that only Jihoon can ever give him. It's been four weeks since they made it official and Junkyu doesn't think he'll ever get over with the way Jihoon makes him feel. </p><p>It's not like he has only developed feelings for him when Jihoon confessed a month ago. This actually elicited an argument between them - an overly heated discussion over who started to like the other first. ("That's why I haven't dated anyone because I only had eyes on you since highschool!")</p><p>It's not like it matters, but the couple always liked to treat everything as a competition. Soon, they'd be arguing about who loves each other more.</p><p>"Jihoon-ah." </p><p>The aforementioned man doesn't respond. Junkyu pats his back gently, "Do you think we should tell them?" Then he adds, "About us?" </p><p>After a moment, Jihoon finally speaks, "Who?" </p><p>"Our friends." </p><p>Truthfully, Junkyu's scared with the thought of their friends finding out about their relationship. Just imagining their reactions makes his gut twist. They would understand, he's sure of that as much, but that doesn't make him any more driven to drop the bomb. </p><p>As if sensing his jitters, Jihoon flips around and pulls Junkyu into his arms, wrapping him protectively in the way that makes his heart flutter. </p><p>Jihoon plants a kiss on the top of his head then says, "You know what, Kyu?”</p><p>When Junkyu looks up at him, there’s a relaxed smile on his face, “I think they already know." </p><p><br/>
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  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>credits for the <a href="https://www.buddhistdoor.net/news/koreas-oldest-stone-buddhist-pagoda-officially-unveiled-after-20-year-restoration-project">mireuksaji</a> bit bc we always have to cite our sources &lt;3 </p><p>thank u for reading! </p><p>
  <a href="https://curiouscat.me/excorde">cc</a>
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